Donald Hostetter is a Presbyterian minister whose wife was killed instantly in an automobile accident. A year and a half after her death, he wrote these words. "One moment Charlotte was alive. The next moment she was dead! What do you feel after 40 « years together, sharing the most happy times, sharing the sad ones, but most of all sharing those myriad in-between occasions which are the heart of togetherness?
"What do you feel? The feeling is like a free-fall before the parachute opens, when you've been forced, unwillingly, to leave the plane. No exhilaration, just raw fear of the unknown, and the hope that the parachute will open. Eighteen months after the defining moment, I still grieve the separation, the enforced loneliness because of the lack of intimacy, and the tears well up again and again."(1)
I wonder if he can even bear to stand in the pulpit these days and read the words from the 98th Psalm? "Sing to the Lord a new song, for he has done marvelous things...Make a joyful noise to the Lord all the earth; break forth into joyous song and sing praises." Praises? After losing his wife, I would think he would feel more like cursing. I wonder if he would choke on these words as he attempted to read them.
When life is going well - when our relationships are sound, our work is fulfilling, and our basic needs are being met - it is not difficult to be joyful and to praise God for the goodness of life. But how is it when the most precious person in our lives has been ripped out of our arms? How do we experience joy when pain runs deep within us?
I knew a woman who enjoyed marvelous health throughout her life and lived into her nineties. Most people would say she has a great deal for which to be thankful. Most of us would like to know that we will do the same. But there is also a downside to living that long. She buried her husband and lived many years as a widow. And then, she buried her son. And then, she buried her granddaughter. How do we experience joy when the pain runs so deep?
This morning's gospel passage provides Luke's version of what happened on the evening of the first Easter. The day had begun with the women and Peter visiting the tomb and finding it empty. They were told that Christ had risen from the dead, but they were so amazed and overwhelmed by that report that they did not entirely comprehend it. They wanted to believe it was true, but it sounded too fantastic.
In today's passage, we read that it is now the evening of the same day, and Luke tells us that the disciples are gathered together trying to make sense of what Peter and others have told them about the empty tomb. And as they are trying to sort it all out, Jesus appears in their midst and says, "Peace be with you." The disciples are terrified and Jesus asks, "Why are you frightened?"
Luke says that the disciples are frightened because they think they are seeing a ghost. We have to admit that seeing a ghost would be a bit unnerving. But I think there is more to their fear than that. Jesus follows his question by asking, "Why do doubts arise in your hearts?" And then Luke tells us that the disciples are disbelieving and still wondering. Their fear is partly because they have seen a ghost. But more than that, I suspect their fear is rooted in the fact that their dream has ended. The disciples believed that Jesus would take over the reigns of power and rule the nation with justice and mercy. They believed they would occupy special positions in this new governance, and would be instrumental in helping him usher in a new age of peace and prosperity. All of that came crashing down when he died.
We can easily relate to this fear experienced by the disciples. Don't all of us fear our dreams coming to an end?
I think of the young couple who has tried for several years to have a child. They have undergone numerous tests and spent thousands of dollars on the latest medical procedures, but none of it has worked. Their physician finally says, "I'm sorry. There's nothing else to try."
I think of the young woman who has put in many long hours at work and looked forward to moving up to a new position, but when the job she was hoping for opened up, she was passed over and someone new from the outside was brought in.
I think of the man who made a foolish mistake in the passion of the moment and destroyed his marriage and his family.
I think of the person who waited too long to mend a fractured relationship, and now it has been lost forever.
The dreams of the disciples came to an end. When Jesus was put to death, their hopes were crushed. But then something incredible happened. Jesus stepped from the tomb and joy burst forth into our world. The resurrection of Christ is the great reversal that brings us genuine hope. The joy of Easter is the celebration of new life in the face of death.
Deep, abiding joy eludes many people, because they confuse it with other things. They believe joy is found in the accumulation of wealth or possessing the perfect body or having flawless children or becoming a celebrity. These things may bring a degree of happiness, but they will never bring deep joy.
Joy also eludes many people because they think that it can only be found in the denial of suffering and loss. They attempt to hopscotch over grief and despair and the painful episodes of human life. But according to the Scriptures, the pathway to joy is not over or around suffering and death, but rather through it.(2)
The story is told of a young boy who was watching his father, a pastor, work on his sermon. And after watching for a few minutes, the little boy asked his dad, "How do you know what to say?" The father, feeling a bit smug, replied, "Why, God tells me what to say." To which the little boy replied, "Then why do you keep crossing things out?"
God does not cross out the heartache in our lives, as if it were somehow possible to live a pain-free existence. Rather, God helps us to discover the goodness in life despite its trials.
Human life is not problem free. We encounter disappointments. We encounter obstacles. We encounter frustrations. We encounter losses. Yet it is from these very things that profound joy emerges. The story of the resurrection of Christ is not that joy comes to people when they are savoring the pleasures of life, but rather, that joy bursts forth after disaster, disbelief, despair and death.
Kate Sawford is fourteen years old, and she has published a book of photographs. The book is entitled Kate's Story. It is the story of her battle with cancer. She had to have one of her legs partially amputated, and the lower part of her leg had to be rotated and reattached. She writes in her book: "Days of my life I'd like to forget: the day the doctors told me I was sick. The day I had to tell my friends I was ill. The day my hair fell out. The first day after my surgery. These are also the days I'll always remember." Kate once had only a 50/50 chance of being cured from her cancer. Now she has only a ten percent chance of the cancer ever returning.
Kate Sawford has been extremely fortunate. It appears she has been cured. Yet even more important than a cure, Kate has discovered what each one of us needs. We need to be able to face squarely our deepest fear and our greatest sadness and not lose hope. Our need is not to avoid or deny the dark places of our lives. Neither is it to wallow in them - some of us like to do that. Our true need is to discover the joy of Easter which brings hope into our lives. Not idle hope or some casual word of optimism, "Cheer up, everything will turn out alright." No, we need what God offers: the divine assurance that what in our fear we thought was the whole picture is not the whole picture. What Kate thought was the end was not the end. What we sometimes think is the end is not the end. Because of the resurrection of Christ, our fears are never the whole story.(3)
Luke concludes his gospel, by saying that Jesus led these fearful and confused disciples out of the city, where he blessed them, called upon them to be his witnesses and then departed from them. But his departure did not leave them fearful or grieving or in despair. The text tells us that they "returned to Jerusalem with great joy," because they had experienced the risen Christ, and knew that death had been defeated.
The God whom we worship is the God who wipes away tears, who reverses suffering, who overcomes fear and who swallows up death forever. Because Christ lives, we will live, no matter how dead we are now and no matter how final our losses seem to be. Suffering will come to an end and death will be overpowered.(4) Just like those first disciples, our tears can be changed to laughter, our despair changed to hope and our fears changed to genuine joy.
NOTES
1. Donald A. Hostetter, "It Happened in the Twinkling of an Eye" in The Living Pulpit.
2. Kathleen M. O'Conner, "Easter Joy," in Journal for Preachers, (Easter 2000), p.31.
3. Paul Scott Wilson, "Imagination and Easter," in Journal for Preachers, (Easter, 1996), p.18.
4. Kathleen M. O'Conner, p.33.
© 2000 Dr. Gregory knox Jones, all rights reserved
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